Great news, patriots! They're producing more Canadian Heritage minutes! Who can forget the legendary series of commercials that gave an entire generation of Canadians a go-to catchphrase anytime anyone mentioned burnt toast, re-created Rocket Richard's serial killer eyes and taught us that Marshall McLuhan wouldn't shut the fuck up? The best part of these new ads is that the Historica-Dominion Institute is accepting suggestions for fresh historical moments to be immortalized in future ads. So, I can't help but propose that we see Heritage ads based on these great moments in Canada's history….
* Alanis Morrissette goes to the theatre with Dave Coulier.
* Ross Rebagliati's chastened, exasperated "Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuude" after he was told he failed his Olympic drug test.
* That proud day when RIM stock was made available for purchase.
* Retrospective on the life and times of Robin Sparkles.
* Someone wins a free coffee on Roll Up The Rim and gets way too excited about it.
* The Hinterland Who's Who series. Sure, it's odd to celebrate another long-running ad series in a commercial, but c'mon, without Who's Who, where else would we have learned about puffins?
* Tom Green painting a lesbian orgy on the hood of his parents' car, then going to pick his dad up at the bus stop in said car.
* That one time on Air Farce when Jessica Holmes was actually funny.
* Bobby Clarke's all-time cheap shot of slashing (and breaking) Valeri Kharlamov's ankle during the Summit Series, putting a huge giant rat-shaped asterisk next to Canada's victory. (Hey, I'm happy Canada won, but let's be honest, Bobby Clarke was a dirty player.)
* The Kim Campbell administration. I think they can literally fit the whole thing into a minute-long commercial.
* The Lavigne/Kroeger marriage proposal.
* Just a full minute of Paul Gross standing there in an RCMP uniform, not saying a word.
* Alanis Morrissette goes to the theatre with Dave Coulier.
* Ross Rebagliati's chastened, exasperated "Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuude" after he was told he failed his Olympic drug test.
* That proud day when RIM stock was made available for purchase.
* Retrospective on the life and times of Robin Sparkles.
* Someone wins a free coffee on Roll Up The Rim and gets way too excited about it.
* The Hinterland Who's Who series. Sure, it's odd to celebrate another long-running ad series in a commercial, but c'mon, without Who's Who, where else would we have learned about puffins?
* Tom Green painting a lesbian orgy on the hood of his parents' car, then going to pick his dad up at the bus stop in said car.
* That one time on Air Farce when Jessica Holmes was actually funny.
* Bobby Clarke's all-time cheap shot of slashing (and breaking) Valeri Kharlamov's ankle during the Summit Series, putting a huge giant rat-shaped asterisk next to Canada's victory. (Hey, I'm happy Canada won, but let's be honest, Bobby Clarke was a dirty player.)
* The Kim Campbell administration. I think they can literally fit the whole thing into a minute-long commercial.
* The Lavigne/Kroeger marriage proposal.
* Just a full minute of Paul Gross standing there in an RCMP uniform, not saying a word.
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